Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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