Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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