ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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