We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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