i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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