If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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