his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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