I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
