Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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