Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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