sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
