Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize