imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
