im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
