Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
