I wish I could teleport
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
