sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
