How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
