She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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