I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
