Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
