laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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