you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize