Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
