Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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