I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
