yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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