I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
