Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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