A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize