cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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