I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
