Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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