Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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