okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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