Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
