Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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