So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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