You work out of a Hotel?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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