take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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