i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
