I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
