i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
