Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
