sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
