i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
