Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
