Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We need to rekindle our bromance
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
