Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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