the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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