JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
