Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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