i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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