She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
