is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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