how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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