I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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