Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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