I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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