She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
