There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
