I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
