taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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