fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
