I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
