you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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