Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
is that a dick in a sweater?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
