i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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