Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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