Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
