I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
