The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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